Overcoming stress

Graduations, weddings, new jobs, new homes, promotions... even the most positive transitions in life involve some degree of stress. Entering the new year and keeping the resolutions that go along with it brings the impact of transitions in our lives to the forefront. It creates different time pressures... changes relationships with people in our lives... and forces us to view ourselves in a whole different light. Even the balance of time, schedules or power in our households may change. All these changes impact not only our emotions, but also our health. How can we manage transitions in the most healthful way?
EVERYONE CHANGES
Today, people have longer life spans and a broader range of choices than at any other time in history. The average American now has as many as four to five careers, and frequently moves from place to place geographically as well as professionally. This is distinct from past generations. All these transitions play out at a number of levels, from physical to psychological. After all, we are mind-body creatures. On the physical side, when you make a new commitment, such as starting a new job, you may be exhausted with the challenge of a longer commute to work, shifted work hours or meeting unfamiliar demands. This may lead to such symptoms as headaches or stomachaches, feelings of lethargy and anxiety.
Psychologically, a transition may cause you to experience a temporary loss of identity. Perhaps you used to be an A student, and now you are just one of millions of job seekers. You may have been a successful business executive and now find yourself in a retirement community in Florida... or a housewife, returning to the workforce.
All these transitions, whether unexpected or happily anticipated require some adjustment and may at first appear overwhelming. They are exciting on the one hand, but there are also new challenges and concerns as you actively seek to redefine yourself and your new identity. You must adapt and redesign your new environment so that it accommodates you.
LOOK FORWARD, NOT BACKWARD
Traditional stress-management strategies such as exercising, getting plenty of rest, eating a healthy diet and keeping your sense of humor can help you keep stress at bay. Never underestimate the value of social support. Talk to your close friends and family members about what's going on, and when necessary, seek professional counseling. However, the key to mastering the impact of your transition is to look forward and not backward. In moving toward a new stage in life, looking backward can drain you. It allows doubt to creep in. You begin to second-guess yourself and wonder if you made the right decision. These comparisons and misgivings can exact a severe toll.
After you deeply analyze a situation, the pros, the cons, the impacts, etc. and make a conscious choice to make a transition (in a divorce you may not have a choice... in the case of a new job, you probably do), move forward completely and resolutely. Head down the path fully without looking back. Repeat to yourself: I'm the one choosing to move this way. What works is to keep returning yourself to your choice to move forward and to give up dwelling on any thoughts about what should have been.
Choosing to move forward is a commitment one makes a stand, get rid of all the "woulda-coulda-shouldas." Even when the transition is not fundamentally your choice -for example, if your department is closed down and your job is outsourced make an effort to look at the situation from a forward-looking view. Perhaps you were thinking about changing jobs anyway, and this will give you the push you need to re-enter the market and get a more meaningful or lucrative position.
THE BOTTOM LINE?
Transitions are stressful, but it is your choice to frame and address them in a positive or a negative way. In the long run, your best bet is to focus on the opportunities for the future. Don't waste your time pondering the problems you faced in the past or are likely to face again as time goes by. Instead, take the time to create a promising, productive and rewarding future from the many opportunities that life offers you.